I’m pretty sure I’m psychic, and Serg says I am so it is true. My boyfriend won’t believe me though, no matter how many facts I bring up.
Fact 1: I totally called the football game we were watching before it even started. First he claimed I was only picking the team he disliked to be difficult, then AFTER I was right he informed me I had a 50/50 chance, but whatever. Who needs him.
FACT 2: I’m also able to guess time with astounding accuracy. It’s spooky. I won’t look at a watch for HOURS, then BAM, I guess 10:16 and it is so. Or almost. EVEN IF I’M 10 MINUTES AWAY, IF IT’S 10:06 OR 10:26, I AM STILL RIGHT. Those are the rules.
FACT 3: Serg leaves for hours, and as soon as I text her she says “Woah, I just got back. You’re psychic”
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. Examine the evidence as presented, and come up with your own conclusion. Just remember, the facts don’t lie.
How do I even approach this situation? The man is completely illogical and refuses to believe anything, even rock solid evidence. Not to mention you think he would be supportive, for if I were in fact psychic it would help me gain other stupefying abilities. Notably the ability to use the metric system even though I live in America. Why the hell isn’t America still using the metric system?
I need to be psychic. I could do so many awesome things. I could communicate with the dead, talk to Serg (who is also psychic) without having to pick up a phone, know in advance if I don’t want to stay on the channel I’m watching and all sorts of other badass nonsense.
I mean, I suppose I could do all that using simple means in this modern-day and age, but who wants to work that hard? And isn’t that what America is all about, simplifying things to an unnecessary extent? Thought so.
I have to begin studying my new-found psychic ability farther. I’ll begin to do mind strengthening tests in the future to sharpen my ability. Then I can do all of the aforementioned badassery. My future is in the bag, fuck you real world!
Actually, I just googled mind strength tests. I have decided that is not the route I desire to tread. I guess I’ll just live out the rest of my days without ever understanding the metric system or knowing ahead of time what will be on TV.