It’s called selective breeding, and I feel like we need it

My dog is afraid of food.
I own a chihuahua, and it kind of looks like this.

Notice the giant eyeball, huge fat, rat ears and stupid legs.
Yeah, that’s him. He always looks that sad, and he is really not very smart.

He’s afraid to eat. I feel like you need to be a special kind of animal to be afraid of one of the very basic necessary skills to survive.

I have to convince him to eat his food by super nicely calling his name and tapping his food bowl. SOMETIMES, if I’m lucky, he’ll run over wagging is tail and shove his face into his bowl. At that point he’ll kind of lap at his bowl, like what dogs do when they drink, in an attempt to get some of the food to stick to his tongue.

But a lot of the time he will walk over to the corner of the room and shake. Just….shake. I think one time he tried to eat and some huge thing tried to bite his nose off and now he is afraid of his food. But I really have no fucking idea why he does it.

If he were the wild, he would die. Not only because of his fear of eating, but also because his intelligence level is about the same as moss. I successfully taught him how to sit and lie down, but that was after a month and a half of intense and rigorous training

I’m not a noob with dogs, either. I have owned dogs since the beginning of my life, and at one point I had thought I would want to be a dog trainer so I studied for awhile at it. So that this dog was so completely unwilling to learn was astounding. BUT, there were two things this dog taught itself to do. Stand on his hind legs and dance around like a little circus animal, and open the door to my bathroom.

I don’t know why he picked up this impossibly annoying trick, but he did. Our bathroom door doesn’t lock, so when company is over I am at the mercy of my chihuahua.

I have had to start leaning over and holding my door shut so he can’t open it. IT scratches at it and whines really loud. Everyone will always know when I am in the bathroom for the rest of my life.


4 thoughts on “It’s called selective breeding, and I feel like we need it

    • I have been rushing him outside every time he starts to pee for about a year now. He just doesn’t pick it up. My big dog, who is a genius btw, scratches at the door and whines. I don’t understand why this one won’t learn!

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