Please never let the lid down…..

When I was about eight years old I attended the birthday party of a close friend. Her party was being held in her basement, and the slumber party that was to supersede was to be held in her attic.

Her basement was fucking CREEPY. She had an older brother, and her older brother liked to pluck the heads off of her baby dolls and throw them into the basement. Occasionally, during bouts of our lunatic shrieks of joy as we played, we would stumble upon a mangled course of her previously loved plaything, and our elated yelps would turn into horrified screams. Often times the hair would be cut off and parts of the face would be haphazardly cut off for no apparent reason other than her brother being a raging lunatic

Her parents cleaned up the basement pretty well before the party. They removed most of the heads and tore down cobwebs, but it was still a fucking basement. Not a glamorous one either, mind you. There was no carpet and no wallpaper. It was concrete and cement walls with a huge heater taking up most of the space. The heater seemed to crank and groan and was often the very epitome of many of my future nightmares. (It is not known for certain, but this heater may have been the grandfather of my current heater)

There was a small TV down there that we were going to use to watch movies on. She asked her brother to pick out the movie, and in a gesture of “I have to make sure these girls grow up wrong.” he gave us a horror movie. I do not quite know what possessed us, a group of eight year old girls, to want to watch a horror movie alone in her creepy ass basement. BUT CHILD NAIVETY WON OUT, AND WE WATCHED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT MOVIE.

I’ve always been quite a paranoid girl. I used sit in my bed and stare at the ceiling, scared out of my wits to look at my doorway because my mom left the door open after she kissed me goodnight and what if I looked in my doorway and there was some guy looking back at me with long skeleton fingers wrapped around the frame of the door breathing really heavily as a long black cloak drapes around his body and he just breathes and just breathes and slowly saunter towards me ALL BECAUSE I SAW HIM AND IF I HADN’T LOOKED HE WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THERE.

So this movie was a terrible idea. It’s almost just as terrible as taking a misinformed PETA member on a tour of the glue factory. At first I tried to coerce my friends out of watching the movie. I tried to convince them with what I thought were convincing arguments such as: “that movie says pg-14 and we’re not that old” and “but it’s getting kind of late and it’s already 8:30 that means it won’t even be over until 10:00”
None of them listened.

We watched that movie, and while we were watching that movie none of us moved for the 90 minutes it was playing. I don’t even remember what movie it was, I just remember it being a mistake. After it clicked off we all sat in silence. “we need to go to bed…” the birthday girl muttered under her breath. All of us were just waiting for someone else to move. Finally one of the party attendants stood up, and we all followed. We decided to just all go upstairs at the same time. Then I realized I needed to pee.

There were two bathrooms, one in her parents room and one in the basement. Since her parents had gone to bed were had to use the one in the basement.

“ok… wait out here for me I’m going to go pee…” I entered and frantically felt for the light switch. I flipped it on, and turned around to stare at my friends for what felt like, in my scared to death eight year old heart, may have been the last time. I shut the door and turned around. The toilet seat was down.

This never meant anything to me before. It was at this moment in time I started to have my paranoid thoughts. What if there’s a hand in the toilet….WHAT IF THERE’S A HEAD IN THE TOILET. WHAT IF THERE’S NOTHING IN THE TOILET, BUT SOMETHING CRAWLS UP WHEN I’M SITTING ON THE TOILET AND GRABS ME.

I stared at that closed lid for 5 minutes. It took my friend to ask what was taking me so long to go over there and open the lid. There was a head in the toilet. It belonged to one of the birthday girls barbies. That didn’t register, the only thing that registered was AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It scared the shit out of me. I ran out of the bathroom and up the steps as fast as I could. My psychotic actions in turn freaked out my friends, and they followed close behind as we screamed and tried to get out of the basement. I tripped three times going up the stairs that led out of her basement, but I was just glad to be out of there.

I stood up and evaluated the area with my friend and realized I had peed myself somewhere along the way.

I slept in her parents clothes and bed that night, and to this day I won’t use the bathroom if the lid is down. I’ve often asked my boyfriend or mother to open the lid. I have a problem.


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