I grew up hating sleeping but despising when it was time to wake up. My mom would try to get me up at ungodly times in the morning, because she always thought it took me 45 minutes to get ready like it did for my younger sister. Though I don’t know what the hell my sister does that it takes her so long to get ready. I feel like she’s still trying to figure out how pants work.
I am a very low maintenance person. It takes me about 8 minutes, 10 on a slow day, to get ready. Pants, shirt, teeth, something to drink and I’m good. Though occasionally in the morning I have to pee really bad and my sister is in the bathroom and what is she doing she doesn’t wear make-up she doesn’t shower in the morning I have to pee so bad what is she doing I think she’s sleeping in the tub OH MY GOD IT’S BEEN 15 MINUTES MY BLADDER IS GOING TO FALL OUT IF IT GETS ANY HEAVIER
When my mom would try to wake me up she would always says the same thing. “SKYLAR GET UP. TIME FOR SCHOOL.” If I didn’t answer her she would go in my room. “SKYLAR SCHOOL. DO IT NOW.” Then, god forbid if I weren’t to answer again “SKYLAR YOU BETTER FUCKING GET THE HELL UP AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL OR YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK” At that point I got up. I of course being the crafty little minx that I was developed my counter measures, namely subconscious responses to subvert her futile attempts at parenting.
When I began answering her for the first time it was because I would wake up after the first time she yelled. “Yeah I’m up” She wouldn’t check my room if I answered, so I was free to lie there in a half-conscious stupor until I felt like getting up. This went on for months, then I finally began to do it without even fully waking up. I would wake on my own 20 or so minutes later and think she just didn’t wake me up, only to find out later she had yelled for me.
My life is an endless stream of bad luck, so eventually that luck had to sabotage my perfect system by forcing me to oversleep. My mom did not approve. After this happened for the first time I set an alarm, then a few months later a friend who lived near by would wake me up and we would walk to the bus stop together.
Over the years I guess I gained somewhat of a sense to know people were talking to me while I was still more or less unconscious, and I would answer them. My answers would just be wrong. Really wrong. It sounds like they’re asking me one thing in my head, so I’ll answer that, but they are actually asking something else.
For some reason I also tend to get very angry while I’m asleep. I guess I’m just a grouch while I’m asleep, or I’m subconsciously just a dick.
Justin: Sky, are you awake?
Justin: When do you leave tomorrow?
Me: nah, I’m not hungry
Justin: I asked if you want to watch a movie
Me: I KNOW what you asked. I’m not retarded
Justin: So do you?
Me: I SAID NO.
A few get bizarre.
Justin: Do you want to watch a movie?
Me: *Mumbles incoherently*
Me: NO. The train is parked already
Justin: I don’t….understand
Me: Do you do it?
Justin:…..nevermind I don’t want to watch a movie
Sometimes while I’m asleep I realize I’m asleep, and I hear someone speaking to me and mentally tell myself “Don’t answer them…..your answer is going to be stupid…don’t say anything stupid”
I always do.