CAN’T YOU SEE THIS CONSTANT FIGHTING IS TEARING US ALL APART

Me and my boyfriend fight. A lot. Not about serious things, mind you, not usually. We just fight about everything. This is probably for the best because nothing strengthens the bonds of love like a good tussle every once in awhile.

We fight because I’m unreasonable and he’s stubborn. I’m also a jealous, raging psychopath and he’s a jerk. Together this makes us quite a combination.

*We fight about if that old lady’s hair was gray or white
*We fight about the reason we have two nostrils instead of one
*where we’re going to move in the hypothetical situation in which we actually move. This went on for hours.
*Whether or not that was really an argument because he “wasn’t angry, I’m just saying”
*”OF COURSE I DON’T LOVE MARISSA MORE THAN YOU, I NEVER EVEN MET HER WE’VE ONLY SPOKEN ON THE PHONE”
*I like mini anniversaries once a month.
*He thinks they’re stupid
*I think we should buy expensive wine purely for having it and nothing else.
*There are too many chords plugged into that outlet. If a chord has another outlet built into it after you plug it into an outlet, that doesn’t mean you should plug some other object into it.
*You can’t put something filled with grease into the sink, what if it catches on fire
*IT COULD HAPPEN
*Sleeping is a waste of time, I could be mastering the art of sewing/dish washing/instrument playing/poetry writing/juggling instead of sleeping.
*Does this look bad on me? “No your boobs look great”…I’m changing “WHY THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT”
*The definition of the word “jank” and if he really knew what it meant before I told him
*Whether the woman in Tree of Life were standing up or asleep. My art professor cleared that one up for us.
*We had a fight regarding him falling asleep while we were having a fight
*I occasionally grunt during tennis. He demand that I stop.
*We watched Cirque De Freak together. You fell asleep during it, but we still watched it.
*No really, I can open that for you. Justin give me a chance….you’re going to make yourself hemorrhoid. Oh shit, I can’t really open it.
*The release date for one of our favorite games. Things other than insults may have been thrown at this time.
*Whether or not that bird was blue or purple. I took a pole on that one. He said the results were null because they were all my friends.
*He keeps making fun of my speech impediment. I have one, really!
*Oh hey, she’s the same voice actor from this other movie. No, no don’t fucking google it, I know I’m right. God damnit.
*Hah I was right, fuck you.
*Shit I was wrong, but I’m going to argue about it until I feel like I was right.
*”The alcohol fad is never over”
*I named my Ghastly “Spook” on Pokemon when I was ten. He kept trying to tell me I was racist for doing so.
*We can’t build the same deck in Magic: The Gathering. Doing so would severe the thin line between “friendly competition” and “destructive rivalry”
*That’s not how my fucking name is spelled, spell it right.
*Me and your ex girlfriend, contrary to your belief, do not share a name.
*Neither do me and your sister
*or me and my dog

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