And then there was one.

Me, my older cousin Alicia, and my younger cousin Dakota, were really close when we were about aged 6-9. We all lived near each other and our parents were also close, so we would hang out almost every day. We would always go to Alicia’s house, but I never really figured out why because it was the most ghetto of all of our very ghetto houses.

Alicia’s parents owned four dogs and a superfluous dog house. None of the dogs ever used it because they all slept in the house. We, however, used this dog house as our club house. We actually used a lot of other things for our club houses as well, like a creepy old abandoned barn in the neighbor’s yard (we got in trouble a lot) and an old community building basement we could get into because part of the aluminum covering of the building could be peeled back. (no, in trouble a lot)

So in the dog house, which now that I think about it was really the only clubhouse we were allowed to be in, Dakota and Alicia were huddled around me so I could show off my awesome new Pokedex. By the way, that Pokedex was sweet. And this was the Pokedex from the first season, not the nancy-pancy Pokedex from the Hoenn region that was released. We had a lot of trouble originally figuring out how to use it because it was confusing as fuck. Years later at a friends party I found an old Pokedex of hers, and it was still confusing as fuck.

Anyways, Dakota was standing near me, gazing at my fantastic new accessory which I believe awarded me as Pokemon leader of the group, but Alicia had noticed something in the corner of the dog house and walked over to pick it up. Suddenly, she ran wailing out of the dog house and in to the house, flailing her arms as she went.

Alicia: MOM MOM A SNAKE BIT ME MOM A SNAKE BIT ME MOM
Alicia’s Mom: A SNAKE? WAS IT BLACK OR BROWN? (keep in mind we have Copperheads and black snakes, one being deadly and the other just being annoying)
Alicia: I….I don’t know
Alicia’s mom: WHERE DID IT BITE YOU?
Alicia: *mumbles something completely incomprehensible and sucks back all her tears and snot, then almost drowns in it*
Alicia’s mom: I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING
Alicia: FOOT FOOT MY FOOT IS WHAT IS BITTEN

Alicia’s mom ripped her shoe off and examined her foot. She viewed it from all angles and finally looked on the sole of and saw a single hole barely noticeable.

Alicia’s Mom: Are you sure you didn’t step on something?”
Alicia: I *SNIFF* DON’T *SNIFF* KNDFNKJGDFNKJG *sucks back all the tears again*
Alicia’s mom: David (her husband) go find the other kids and see what happened.
Alicia’s Dad: *grunts*

So he came outside to find us standing around the dog house staring wide-eyed at the house. He crawled into the dog house, and emerged with a board that had a stubby nail sticking out of it. He mumbled something and attempted to throw it over the fence. Over the fence. He didn’t remove the nail and throw the board away, or even just throw it away as a whole; no, throw it over the fence. Into the road. And I want to emphasize attempt because he didn’t even make it, it just landed on the other side of his yard.

After about half an hour I think we finally got over our shock. We started wandering around the yard aimlessly, mostly talking about Pokemon and making up scenarios, my scenarios were always the best, keep in mind, when we happened upon that board. We both stared at it. “It’s not even that sharp” I muttered. Dakota picked it up and examined it. “You’re right it isn’t” then dropped it on the ground. At this point I guess I decided it was a good idea to try to balance myself on top of it. I never claimed to be intelligent.

We were dwindling around the board, for whatever reason, and talking about Dakotas upcoming birthday party. The bottom of my shoe finally gave, after at least a minute of me putting all my weight on that board, and the nail slipped into my skin. A look of terror overtook my face as I stopped talking mid sentence, and me and Dakota looked down. I think it was the shock overtaking my body, but I began to fanatically laugh.

The fact that I was laughing like some lunatic even though there was a nail lodged into my foot so far it was almost sticking out of the top didn’t scare Dakota. It didn’t clue him in to the deranged psychopath I really was. If it did, he thought nothing of it, because the shock that was slowly overtaking his body needed an escape, and he began to laugh as well. I limped back to the house, the nail still in my foot, giggling out of my rights and muttering “the nail was so dull”

I tried to calmly explain to my mom there was a nail in my foot, but she wasn’t being calm at all.
“YOUR COUSIN JUST STEPPED ON THAT NAIL, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, I’M GOING TO PULL THIS OUT OF YOUR FOOT AND WE’RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL TO GET YOU A TETANUS SHOT. 1, 2,”
She ripped the nail out of my foot. That’s when I started to cry. I cried on the way to the car, and I cried on the way to the hospital.

Thinking back on it now, I can only imagine Dakota sitting there in the living room. He was the last of the group. Me and Alicia were in the hospital for the same reason, that nail. Sitting on the floor with Alicia’s dad who seemed completely un-phased by this.
Wait, he was the only one left. Does that make him Pokemon leader of the group…?

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