I hope a ninja doesn’t climb out of kittens mouth.

Hot damn, it’s been a while. I guess that what happens when all of the games I’ve been looking forward to are released in one month conjunctive to each either. I HAVE TO BEAT THEM ALL TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE.
You don’t understand, I have four games here that all want me to play them.
Four. 4. Vier. Shi. Quatre.
And those are all of the languages I am able to count to ten in. Don’t ask me to do anything else but count, because I most likely can’t.
On top of the games I was ravenously playing in an attempt to move on to the next one, (which, for the most part didn’t happen. I got too excited about 4/5th’s of the way through and moved to the next one) spring break had recently began which meant I GOT TO PLAY MAPLESTORY AGAIN. So that was a week. Pokemon took another week of my time up. Those two were the main culprits.

Damn, I remember when this post was going to be about pessimism. Maybe I should make it about my ADHD at this point. Nah, I’ll just continue to be-bop around subjects.

My cat, I mean my prodigy cat not the overweight one that I mentioned here, is sitting at the end of my bed staring at me intensely. I think he’s practicing the telekinesis I’m sure he has.

“WHY IS HE A PRODIGY CAT?” you ask yourself, while stroking the scruff on your chin. My cat is a prodigy because everything he does is too intelligent for kittens to do.

I saved him from the kitty holocaust at the tiny kitten age of just 4 weeks. Day one he made an number two on my floor once and a number one once or twice. That’s alright, he’s four weeks old. That is allowed kitten behavior. The next day he had successfully litter trained himself. No help from the other cats in my house, as one was outside and the other hated him. He just knew. Also, he has never had an accident on the floor since.

The day after that he learned to climb the ladder up to my bunk bed. “THAT’S NOT EVEN IMPRESSIVE!” you cry out “MY CAT CLIMBS LADDERS ALL THE TIME” (actually you might not be saying that, because you don’t necessarily own a cat and if you do have one it may be only my cats that do that. All of them climb ladders, so I’m not sure if it’s common kitty behavior)
“YES,” I exclaim, trying to quell your attacks on my poor kitten, “But mine learned it at only 4 weeks old and in one day!”
I was impressed.

After that he decided to learn a few of the commands my dogs know. Through watching them for about a week, and their reactions to my behavior, he learned to sit on command. I understand some cats can be taught to obey commands, but mine just decided to up and learn it on his own because why the fuck not.

Prodigy Cat is currently in the process of teaching himself to use the toilet. Our oldest cat does it, who also taught herself, and I can see Prodigy Cat trying to grasp the concept. He gets up there and sits, then just stands for a while. He must not understand the next step, BUT HE’LL GET THERE, DAMNIT.

One of my hypothesis (yes, I have a few. The cat is a fucking prodigy) is that he is confused as to what animal he actually is since he was taken away from his family of cats at such a young age, and he just mimics everything in the house. Sometimes I see him sitting on the floor in the most random places, and I swear to god he thinks he’s an end table. Most cats sit near things, like beside the refrigerator or near/in a box, or they sit on one of the 8 rugs we own, but he sits away from everything. Just BAM, smack dab in the middle of the floor. I have tripped over him so many times in the middle of the night. Fucker blends in.

My newest hypothesis is that he’s a ninja/assassin/ninja assassin infiltrating my home trying to get whatever information he needs before he disappears adorably in to the night one final time. I hope this one isn’t it because he’s really god damned adorable, and I want to see him learn more hilarious things.


One thought on “I hope a ninja doesn’t climb out of kittens mouth.

  1. While I don’t have a cat nor have I ever had one, I would totally get one if it was a ninja/assassin/ninja assassin/prodigy cat. With telekinesis.

    Another hypothesis may be that he’s a human trapped in a cat’s body and is trying to communicate with you through a combination of ladder climbing and toilet sitting. If he teaches himself how to write and/or talk, you’ll know the truth. Though, it’s probably more fun to wonder.

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