This is my detailed guide on how to correctly write a blog post. Everyone who doesn’t follow this guide to the point is not nearly as hilarious and internationally famous as I am. If you follow this guide perfectly, YOU TOO CAN BE A SUPERSTAR.
1. Brainstorm on post ideas ALL DAY. This step is vital, as if the entire day is not spent brainstorming you will probably be a failure.
2. Log onto WordPress/Tumblr/blogspot any other blog. This step is also necessary, because then how will you post….
3. Create drafts on different post topics.
4. Realize it’s finally time to choose one. MANDATORY AND VERY IMPORTANT!
5. Begin sorting through 10 or so topics, or however many you may have compiled
6. Nitpick topics, talk to a friend on skype for an hour, watch a video on youtube about a show on Disney aforementioned friend sent
7. Decide which topic you want to write about. Begin to edit
8. Look up the word “told” on thesaurus.com. Notice “As Told By Ginger” was a related search
9. Go to the site directed to you and begin reading about “As Told By Ginger”
10. Reminisce on how you watched it as a child. Even if you didn’t watch it as a child, you really did.
11. Begin watching videos of it on youtube for nostalgia sake
12. Notice it’s been three hours since you got home and there’s still no post
13. Also notice boyfriend is going to be home any minute. It is imperative you have a boyfriend by this point.
14. Rush to get something done because you know the cycle of anti-getting-shit-done will start again once you begin talking to him
15. HE’S HERE YOU HAVE TO GREET HIM
16. Tell Boyfriend there is no time to watch a movie right now
17. Watch the movie anyways
18. Realize the movie is THREE HOURS LONG. HOLY SHIT GUYS, LOOK AT THIS POST. IT’S ALL ABOUT MY ADHD, DO YOU THINK I CAN WATCH A MOVIE FOR 3 HOURS? 3 hours.
19. Complain to boyfriend about how long the movie is, and that they have been on a plane for 50 minutes.
20. Get super distracted by everything else in the world instead of that movie.
21. Some paradoxical effect kicks in where writing the blog post is more distracting than boyfriend, so finish writing blog post.
22. 3 hours.
23. NOW YOU ARE A SUCCESSFUL BLOGGER!!!!!!