Stupid stuff I buy: Glow in the dark underwear

In my defense they were on sale. They were also omgsupercute. They have little owls and they’re dark blue with black lining. The owls are sooooo cute, you don’t even know.
But come one now.
Glow in the dark underwear. What the hell was I thinking?
Actually I was thinking “Awww these are so cute! And they glow in the dark! My boyfriend will think that’s hilarious”

I was not thinking “Holy shit, these are retarded. For something to glow in the dark, light needs to store in it, and since these will be surrounded by my pants *usually, teehee* or in a drawer, there’s not going to any light to charge it.”
Because that would require common sense, none of which I have while shopping. Luckily I also don’t have any money while shopping, so I don’t have to worry about making stupid decisions.

On a side note, I recently came into a small fortune (very, very small. I’m just super poor all the time so it’s a small fortune to me.) and I’ve had to actually learn SELF CONTROL. I’ve never had a bank account before. I’VE NEVER HAD MONEY BEFORE. I had to open one to stop myself from spending all my cash on stupid shit. In retrospect, now that I have this card that grants me the ability to buy anything I want offline without even needing to leave my house and deal with people, I think this was a stupid decision.

I don’t really know what the hell the creators were thinking. In what world can a group of people go “You know what’s a good idea? Glow in the dark underwear. We could sell those” then they take the idea to their boss, who approves it, and they sell these shitty non-glowing underwear.
This world, actually.

For these underwear to effectively work, you either need to be a huge slut who rarely wears pants, or you have to purposely try to get them to work by leaving them in the light, then butting them on, keeping your pants off and turning the lights down.

This underwear is promoting sluts.

Would glow in the dark swimwear work? I would buy that. Then I would write a post about how stupid that was to buy. Unless I swam all day then night rolled around and suddenly I glowed in the dark. How long does the glowing last anyways? Is it worth me running around in only my underwear for a few hours to see the effect?

So I just googled it trying to find the pair I own, and glow in the dark underwear are ALL OVER GOOGLE. Tons of different ones, but of course not the pair I own. Also, most are being modeled by….promiscuous people.
And also by little boys.

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