Reasons People on Facebook are Awful

Dear people on Facebook,
You are not cool if you do shit like this

“Why didn’t anyone wish me happy birthday today????”
then everyone apologizes and says they didn’t see it come up, so you update your information, repost it, people say Happy Birthday, and you reply later with
“Thanks for noticing the top right corner of Facebook and wishing me a Happy Birthday =p”

No. You were just crying about not getting attention, and now you’re trying to act all cool by playing it off like you didn’t even want the birthday wishes because most of your friends didn’t even remember it was your birthday?

People who skip step one and go straight to step two are also tools. What, you didn’t want any birthday wishes? They’re not good enough for you because most of the people only know it’s your birthday because Facebook reminded them?

You are not the center of the universe. Everyone has dozens or hundreds of other friends, and you just expect them to remember your birthday above all else?

I will not stand for this any longer. From now on I will be waiting until the day after someone’s birthday to give them any kind of notice. You can thank the few people who ruined this for the whole lot of you.

Do you know what else makes you look hilariously retarded?

Yes, we see that you like the Twilight series. Why you felt the need to also state you like Twilight is completely beyond me. The only justification I could see in doing that is to firmly state you love Twilight and nothing else. And is that…..Stephanie Meyer? Last time I checked, she wasn’t a book. Though I guess since I’ve never met her I haven’t really personally checked.

Why the hell would Stephanie Meyer be listed in your interests anyways? Are you her stalker? Every facet of her life is just infinitely intriguing to you?
If you’re writing something like this:
“My interests include reading books, watching movies, and Stephanie Meyer”
then you are fucking crazy.

Something else that makes you look psychotic

If you like two things, and one of them is cats, I’m going to assume some things.

In the case of this screenshot it is from one of my very close friends. She likes more than two things, and she’s perfectly sane(?), but her Facebook does not make it seem so.

People are also disgusting when they try to slut it up on someone’s page.

Do you really think someone wants to date someone as nauseatingly desperate as you except as an easy lay? If you’re going to make a fool out of yourself, at least do it privately. Facebook is not a dating site for the pathetic.

And last but not least on this list of things that annoy the shit out of me on Facebook that I can think off the top of my head, is of course religion.
I don’t care if you coat your wall in how much you love Jesus and that you guys are the best friends in the world. It’s your wall, you do whatever the hell you want with it. But if I want to post something pertaining to a more agnostic point of view on my wall you don’t get to rub your Jesus posters all over it. If I put up something regarding black holes you don’t run over to it and yell that science is evil and dinosaurs never existed. Now you just look completely retarded and I’m going to have to unfriend you. This is my wall, and if I want to graffiti the devil all over it I WILL FUCKING DO IT!

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