Why You Should Always Tip. (In America)

You know who I hate? People who skimp out on tipping waiters and waitresses. I mean god, what kind of jackass do you have to be? Your servers work really fucking hard and are on their feet ALL DAY dealing with people, and a lot of those people are raging dicks. They demand prompt service and when you don’t deliver with a smile they complain to the manager.
Anyways, here are a few of the reasons I’ve heard people claim is why they don’t tip, and the subsequent arguments from me.

“You don’t tip people at the grocery store or Mcdonalds, why should I tip these people!?” Because these waiters and waitresses run back and forth between multiple tables trying to keep everything straight before delivering their orders to the chef. No one tips you at Mcdonald’s to yell orders behind your shoulder at other Mcdonalds Employees because you don’t move from that little five foot rectangle. I’m sure Mcdonalds employees deal with jackasses too, but at least they don’t have to run in circles trying to deal with multiple people at once while remembering everyone’s orders and beverages. Then they hand deliver your meal to you on a silver platter, while you sit there and relay you’re completely fascinating tales of your deep sea diving adventures. You know, waiting on people is a very embarrassing. Do you like waiting on your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse hand and foot all the time? The answer is probably no, and hopefully you at least love them. These servers are willing to bring your food directly to you, refresh all your beverages as soon as it’s needed, and generally do almost anything in their power to make you happy while you’re there; it’s only fair they get a little thanks for their work so it doesn’t feel like they’re just on the bottom of the earth.

“These people are already getting paid just like everyone else, why should I pay them more? I’m not their boss and no one pays me extra for doing my job.” Contrary to popular belief, waiters often do NOT make minimum wage. They usually make about half of whatever minimum wage is going for. Most get payed on a flat $3 an hour rate. Can you possibly live off that amount of money? No, is the correct answer, hence the entire point of minimum wage. After taxes and insurance their entire paycheck is often void. They are also taxed on what they would make off of each table. When you DON’T tip, your server is paying for the privilege of serving you. I don’t know why this fact is so widely unknown to the general populace. I guess it really doesn’t come up in common conversation often. When do people talk about their pay scales except to gloat?

“I just payed $50 for a meal! I don’t have the cash on me right now to tip the servers.” Then you don’t have the cash to go out and eat. If you can’t afford 15% of your meal for great service then clearly you’re in no financial position to go out and have people wait on you hand and foot. Obviously not all service is going. Maybe they’re having a hard day, maybe they’ve been working for 16 hours straight, maybe they’re just awful waiters. I really don’t care, I still tip them. I just tip them 10% instead of the standard 15%. Then, if my service is outstanding and these people are so great and trying to be good employees I tip them 20%, because I can afford that. Because I can afford to go out and eat.

“Tipping is just a form of blackmail so the servers won’t spit in your food. I refuse to support that.” Maybe servers spit in your food because you’re already a dick to think something like that in the first place? Which means you’ve probably already done a series of dickish things in the past that may have caused a disgruntled employee to spit in your food.

On the topic of hating people who skimp on tips I’ll also point out I hate people who act like they’re gods and the waiters are their lowly servants. Just because the waiter walk to the back of the restaurant and carry your meal over to you does not mean you are their owners. Is the person who held the door open for you also your servant? Do you ever hold the door open for anyone else? Probably not with an attitude like that. A lot of the time these same people leave meager tips, always saying that the service didn’t meet their standards. Even if they DO tip well what gives them the right to act like their servers are second-rate citizens? The fact they they willingly entered into a service business hoping to get paid for doing their job? Is that what qualified them? Because that though is completely disgusting.

And for those of you who may be thinking it no, I am not and never have been a waitress. I did, however, grow up the daughter of a single mother who was a waitress most of my life which has allowed me to witness all kinds of dickery in this field. I also believe in treating people fairly and with respect, regardless of their occupation.

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