Updating and Tumblr and Updating Tumblr

After much trial and tribulation I have successfully connected my WordPress account to my tumblr account. Well, one of my tumblr accounts. I have a lot of them because I like to keep my interests separated and I’m too lazy to use tags. I linked this one to my fitness motivation tumblr and now you can see it on the side bar! I found out that you can pretty much only see pictures and the text only posts don’t show up so well so I’ll probably stick to tumbling only pictures on that blog from now on.

I wanted to connect to my tumblr because I find a lot of things on there that I like but not enough to actually write about, especially since pretty much everything on tumblr has already been written about and that’s kind of the point- sharing it. So now with it sitting happily in my sidebar I can share it with you! This will have a lot of different things in it from good food to good recipes to good exercise to good quotes. There’s just a lot of good in it, kind of like what I hope your life is full of right now.

In terms of clean eating I’ve been doing great! A lot of people like to make new year resolutions but I really don’t like to do that. I think it’s always a good time to change yourself, and I also think not being able to achieve your resolutions puts a lot of people down and makes it harder to complete them. I think there’s also the problem of people dropping their resolutions once they achieve them, kind of like when people go on a diet bu gain the weight back as soon as they drop it. Significant health and self changes are something that you need to always work toward, and not just do it for a couple months and then decide that’s good enough. I do think New Years Resolutions are a good place for come people to finally jump into what they’ve been trying to do for a long time, but if it’s not going your way just don’t give up! Success can only be measured by you, so if you feel like it’s all too much just go a little slower and eventually you’ll get where you want to go.

Anyways, here’s a picture from Halloween that has nothing to do with any of this. Put it into your eye-holes.

Friend Halloween


If You Hate on the Haters Then Aren’t You a Hater?

I read this blog post about Stacy London trying to go on the Paleo diet and it made me laugh a lot. I found myself agreeing with a lot of the same problems when I decided to stop eating certain foods, and her writing was pretty funny and clever. It catalogs her daily thoughts around meals and I was nodding most of the time. I didn’t actually know who Stacy London was until I read this post and it slowly explained it to me, but now I’m just going to remember her as the funny and real Paleo diet girl.

In her blog post, Stacy struggles with what to eat on her new diet. A lot of commenters talk about her being a screw up, and that she is just trying out new fad diets, and she was giving the Paleo diet a bad name because she wasn’t eating properly. But when you start new things you just screw up. That’s how it works. You don’t come out of the womb running and you can’t expect to be excellent at things on your first try.

Later losers

She talks about wondering if nuts have seasons and how she’s going to be eating nothing but turkey and avacodo for the rest of her life, and I connected with those problems. When I changed eating habits I clung on to the same few foods for quite a few weeks. Hell, I still drink orange juice and seltzer water every single day just because I STILL have a hard time knowing what to drink since I don’t like water.

She also talked about the sweet cravings she would often have. As a sugar junkie I have such insane sugar cravings every single day. I’ll spend an hour just thinking about how much I love donuts and miss coke. Then I eat five oranges and move on with my life, but it’s still a struggle every time it happens.

While it’s true she underrate for most of the days she cataloged, but that was because she was thrust into a new world and almost everything she ate before was taken from her. She had to start from scratch; that means all new groceries, all new recipes, and a no falling back on your old and comfortably known foods. I know I under ate for the first week or two. I had no idea what to eat and how much of it to eat.

I never made any of my own meals before. Everything was either in the microwave or macaroni on the stove. But we both know kraft macaroni doesn’t actually count as food. I am still trying to teach myself to cook from scratch. it’s very hard! You use a lot of dishes! I didn’t know it took so many dishes to cook food! Now I do, but it took a lot of fucking up to figure it out.

So you go Stacy London, don’t let the haters hate.

Just Do The Best You Can

“Some days, doing my best means accepting that I’m not actually doing my best. I’m not perfect, I can’t give 100% every moment of every day. Some days, I do good enough, and I have to be okay with that.”

That’s a quote I stole from someone and if I ever remember who it was I will give them all the credit in the USA. This has been my go-to phrase for the last few weeks, and an idea I’ve had to deal with for years.

I have chronic depression. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but I am still often taken over by feelings of helplessness and apathy. The apathy is always the worst. You just lay there and you can’t feel anything, no matter how much you want to. Sometimes you just cry; aggressively and passionately, and you have no idea why. You start thinking of things gone wrong and suddenly there’s a reason for the tears. On the bright side the apathy is gone and you are feeling something again.

Sometimes these episodes only last a couple hours. Sometimes they last a couple days, and my worst ones have lasted a few months. On days like that I have things to get done; i have to go to college or work or I need to do simple things like get out of bed, eat, or brush my teeth. I have dogs to take care of and I have to deal with life. On days like this that particular message means a lot to me.

I try as hard as I can, but sometimes I need to remember that just getting out of bed and going is an achievement in itself. I shouldn’t feel bad that I didn’t do cardio for an hour or that one time in a week I ate junky, easy food like ramen or microwave dinners. I should feel good that I did some exercise instead of none, I should be glad I got out of bed and ate instead of wallowing in self pity all day.

I always had problems on particularly bad days where I wouldn’t leave bed, and then I would chastise myself for being lazy and not doing anything at all that day. I couldn’t accept that some days you need a break and taking that break is okay. Eventually I began to accept the little victories, and while it didn’t make my depression wane i certainly made it easier to deal with.  Less often would I end up depressed, punish myself and become more depressed for longer because of thinking how useless I was by not getting anything done.

Effort is always better than no effort, and as long as you’re actively trying to reach your goal then you should feel good about yourself and the steps you took today, even if they aren’t the leaps you usually make.



Rainbow Moon: The Disappointment

I hate Rainbow Moon. I hate it so much I’m going to write about it. I have a hard time hating games. I have an easy time disliking games, but I don’t dislike this game. I hate it. I started to realized about 6 hours in, but it hit me about 13 hours in. Right now I’ve been playing for 22 hours. I’m going to keep playing, too. I’M GOING TO KEEP PLAYING UNTIL I GET MY GOD DAMNED MONIES WORTH! That means until I start enjoying the game, probably never, or until I beat the game.

After trying for 20 hours and still hating the l game, I’ve harnessed a deep understanding of exactly everything I despise about this game. I’m going to list them in order of hatred an how negatively they impact the game for me.

5. The lack of grid.
This game is a strategy-rpg where the battles all take place on a grid. The only problem is there’s not actually a grid, nor is there an option to place a grid on the board. That means that if the terrain is bumpy often you can’t tell if someone is directly in front of you, or in front of you and slightly to the left. Half the time I have to pull up my attack list and select and attack just so I can move it around so that I can actually see what angle the enemy is at.
4. The script.
This game has a script, and that script is not very good. A lot of the time the storyline are weak, which doesn’t necessarily bother me terribly if the mechanics of the game are fun, but I can’t deal with a weak script. I read everything. I read all the dialogue in all the quests and on all the items. A bunch of this dialogue is just silly. There is a slew of made up words constantly being barraged at my eyes. I have to read it all. I tried to ignore it, but when I do that it often ends up I don’t know where the other half of the quest is (we’ll get to that next).
3. Sloppy inventory management.
This is something a lot of RPGs struggle with, Kingdoms of Amalur being at the front of my mind. I don’t usually mind a sloppy inventory as long as it doesn’t affect me too much. The problem with Rainbow Moon’s inventory is that you can’t view the stats your armor and weapons are giving you vs. the store’s armor’s stats. That means you have to leave the store, look at your armor, remember what is adds, and find out if the stores is better. This wouldn’t be a problem if an upgrade in armor automatically meant it was better. That, however, is not the case. There’s a crafting system so you’re able to improve your own armor. It would be very helpful if you could compare stats side by side to help decide if 15 defense is better than the +10 luck +10 strength your armor is giving you. another problem with management is the quest management. Most of the time the quest details don’t actually give you any details. Someone tells you to go find Arnold near the well and give him an apple. You missed where exactly Arnold was, so you try talking to the NPC again. Now the NPC is probably saying “Good luck!” over and over, not helping you find out where Arnold is. “Alright,” you say, “I’ll just check my quests and see where Arnold is.” No you fucking won’t, because the quest guide isn’t telling you anything! You read the quest info and it says “Go find Arnold” So now you have no idea where this floozy Arnold is and you’re wandering around aimlessly until you find the well the NPC told you a single time he was going to be at.
2. The controls.
The controls aren’t a problem until you’re in a battle. In battle your character moves real-time. In a lot of strategy-rpg’s you can map your movement out before having to dedicate yourself to it. This isn’t the case with Rainbow Moon. Rainbow moon has turns and subturns. Moving and attacking both take up separate subturns. In the beginning of the game you can either chose to move or attack. Later in the game when you get a couple more subturns you can move more squares of movement or attack more times in a row. This is where the problems all start to combine. The sloppy movement with the directional pad can end up making you move your character in a completely different direction than you had intended. I often wasted a turn moving my character back to where he was before the turn had begun. This also ties in with the fact there is no grid on the board. If I don’t pull an attack out to see if the enemies are directly in front of me or slightly angled from me I end up wasting a turn moving to where I thought was in front of them. The iffy analog controls can be somewhat remedied by the use of the direction pad but I could never get used to moving with them. Not to mention when the map is angled the actual direction the up button on the pad will take you can differ.
1. The horrific grinding.
This and the iffy analog controls fought for top prize because, while the grinding is tedious and awful, it doesn’t actually affect the game mechanics and ruin turns for me. I decided to put it at number one just because it’s caused me to reevaluate finishing this game several times. It might just because I started the game on the two highest difficulties they offered (hard mode and no gear), but I just seem to grind nonstop. I have 20 hours invested in this game and so far I’m only level 19. I’m pretty sure the level cap for this game is 999. I have 20 hours in this game and I’m level 19, I can only imagine how many hours I have to put in to be 999. (too many for me) Now I don’t normally dislike grinding. I play several MMO’s and grind my team on Pokemon to hell. I love the feeling of grinding and becoming overpowered so I can slaughter the next part of the story like it’s butter. I can’t stand grinding on Rainbow Moon. I don’t know if it’s the difficulty curve between areas and the fact I can’t seem to take a tiny step forward in the story without grinding for 6 hours, or if it’s just all of the previous problems I have with the battle system making every battle I go into a painful experience. Either way I don’t like grinding in Rainbow Moon, and that in itself has almost caused me to quit and other wise cute and rather enjoyable game.

Why You Should Always Tip. (In America)

You know who I hate? People who skimp out on tipping waiters and waitresses. I mean god, what kind of jackass do you have to be? Your servers work really fucking hard and are on their feet ALL DAY dealing with people, and a lot of those people are raging dicks. They demand prompt service and when you don’t deliver with a smile they complain to the manager.
Anyways, here are a few of the reasons I’ve heard people claim is why they don’t tip, and the subsequent arguments from me.

“You don’t tip people at the grocery store or Mcdonalds, why should I tip these people!?” Because these waiters and waitresses run back and forth between multiple tables trying to keep everything straight before delivering their orders to the chef. No one tips you at Mcdonald’s to yell orders behind your shoulder at other Mcdonalds Employees because you don’t move from that little five foot rectangle. I’m sure Mcdonalds employees deal with jackasses too, but at least they don’t have to run in circles trying to deal with multiple people at once while remembering everyone’s orders and beverages. Then they hand deliver your meal to you on a silver platter, while you sit there and relay you’re completely fascinating tales of your deep sea diving adventures. You know, waiting on people is a very embarrassing. Do you like waiting on your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse hand and foot all the time? The answer is probably no, and hopefully you at least love them. These servers are willing to bring your food directly to you, refresh all your beverages as soon as it’s needed, and generally do almost anything in their power to make you happy while you’re there; it’s only fair they get a little thanks for their work so it doesn’t feel like they’re just on the bottom of the earth.

“These people are already getting paid just like everyone else, why should I pay them more? I’m not their boss and no one pays me extra for doing my job.” Contrary to popular belief, waiters often do NOT make minimum wage. They usually make about half of whatever minimum wage is going for. Most get payed on a flat $3 an hour rate. Can you possibly live off that amount of money? No, is the correct answer, hence the entire point of minimum wage. After taxes and insurance their entire paycheck is often void. They are also taxed on what they would make off of each table. When you DON’T tip, your server is paying for the privilege of serving you. I don’t know why this fact is so widely unknown to the general populace. I guess it really doesn’t come up in common conversation often. When do people talk about their pay scales except to gloat?

“I just payed $50 for a meal! I don’t have the cash on me right now to tip the servers.” Then you don’t have the cash to go out and eat. If you can’t afford 15% of your meal for great service then clearly you’re in no financial position to go out and have people wait on you hand and foot. Obviously not all service is going. Maybe they’re having a hard day, maybe they’ve been working for 16 hours straight, maybe they’re just awful waiters. I really don’t care, I still tip them. I just tip them 10% instead of the standard 15%. Then, if my service is outstanding and these people are so great and trying to be good employees I tip them 20%, because I can afford that. Because I can afford to go out and eat.

“Tipping is just a form of blackmail so the servers won’t spit in your food. I refuse to support that.” Maybe servers spit in your food because you’re already a dick to think something like that in the first place? Which means you’ve probably already done a series of dickish things in the past that may have caused a disgruntled employee to spit in your food.

On the topic of hating people who skimp on tips I’ll also point out I hate people who act like they’re gods and the waiters are their lowly servants. Just because the waiter walk to the back of the restaurant and carry your meal over to you does not mean you are their owners. Is the person who held the door open for you also your servant? Do you ever hold the door open for anyone else? Probably not with an attitude like that. A lot of the time these same people leave meager tips, always saying that the service didn’t meet their standards. Even if they DO tip well what gives them the right to act like their servers are second-rate citizens? The fact they they willingly entered into a service business hoping to get paid for doing their job? Is that what qualified them? Because that though is completely disgusting.

And for those of you who may be thinking it no, I am not and never have been a waitress. I did, however, grow up the daughter of a single mother who was a waitress most of my life which has allowed me to witness all kinds of dickery in this field. I also believe in treating people fairly and with respect, regardless of their occupation.

But…isn’t time just an illusion?

It’s been beautiful out, I’ve been sick stuck inside, and I’m on spring break. I’ve been listening to old Disney songs all day and I can’t seem to crack my jaw. My dog keeps whining to go outside so she can harass the neighbor kids and I have to keep taking her in and out of the house.
All in all it’s been a pretty good day.

Do you know what I love? Leap day. You get an entire extra day FOR FREE. You know what would make leap day even better? If everyone got work and school off on that day. The day technically doesn’t exist, why do I have to get up for it?
Leap day is amazing. It means that if you pay your rent on the first of every month you get an entire day every February FOR FREE! Then again I guess with that payment systems and the the fact that the first of the month is not always on a Monday you technically get a lot of days for free. But still, this is one more free day for everyone who pays rent first of the month!
If that’s even a thing. I really don’t know, I’ve only seen it on TV. It seems like a stupid payment system though so I don’t think a lot of apartments utilize it.

I also love daylight savings. In Fall I get a whole other hour to sleep! And in spring time when I’m staying up at ungodly hours in the mornings it means that it gets bright outside later than I’m normally used to! I’m up until 6:30 last night and it’s bright outside and the birds are and I’m angry at the world. But then daylight savings happens and the next night it’s 6:30 in the morning and it’s still dark out and the birds don’t even realize time changed because they’re fucking birds! Birds don’t know how time works! they just chirp when the sun is up!

And those about sum up my feelings for the day.

89 days, 14 hours and 27 minutes.

HEY GUYS! sorry I’ve been gone for about….two and a half months.
So I’ve been really busy with her lately. I’ve also been keeping a blog about it, so I wasn’t gone I was just in some parallel blogging universe of puppies.
It was pretty great.

I still don’t know how frequently I will be able to update because I’m still in the process of training my new dog. She is so great though. If you don’t have a dog you might be, by definition, the saddest person on earth.
Or a cat or a hamster or a bird. If you don’t have an animal. Because animals are pretty fucking great.

So as you may or may not know I live in the middle of fucking nowhere. That means when I say “I’m going to the beach this summer” IT’S REALLY FUCKING EXCITING! Usually I’m stuck here day in and day out with nothing to do because this town is small and I don’t drive because I’m afraid of driving because some one is probably going to hit me and oh god that guy doesn’t kook like he’s going to stop HE’S NOT GOING TO STOPHE’SNOTGOINGTOSTOP oh thank god he stopped.

People are just really scary in cars. Cars weigh like 2000 pounds. That’s crazy. That’s like being hit by a Rhino. Not only are cars HUGE and REALLY FUCKING HEAVY people are also huge jerks most of the time. They have places to be and obviously their places are SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS. They willing to rip your arm off and smack you over the face with it in order to get to their places first. I’ve been cut off by some guy changing lanes and forced to drive off the road to not get into a wreck three times. That’s three times too many. Not to mention around here 90% of the cars are trucks or SUV’s and I have a little baby hybrid so everyone is trying to kill me at all times.

So I don’t get out much, and that’s why going to the beach is exciting. That’s also why I’m trying to diet AGAIN. But this time I ran out and bought all sorts of healthy food, SO I CAN’T POSSIBLY FAIL.
I learned something about dieting. It’s really fun and exciting the first few days, but then it just sucks. Ihop is suddenly playing commercials because it took them 10 years but finally just two months ago you got one built 10 minutes down the road from you.
Then you have class at 8:00 in the morning until 1:30 in the after noon and Mcdonalds looks so delicious and inviting and their Mcdoubles are only $1!
But all you’re allowed to eat is fish and rice snacks. And juice. And McDonald doesn’t serve any of those things that aren’t fried in the fattest grease in the world.

Then you have to exercise too. Then you look at the amount of calories you burn exercising and you get really really depressed. Did you know running for half an hour only burns about 300 calories? And that’s if you’re running fast, and not doing that pussy fast walking-jog thing. That’s half a meal. You run for half an hour to run off half a meal. For reference it takes burning 3500 calories to lose a pound.
That’s depressing.

The diet was really exciting when I started. I went to the store all naive, thinking “This is going to be it. I’m going to buy low calorie, healthy snacks. I’m going to cook ALL MY OWN MEALS and they will all be Asian dishes and fish and rice. I’m going to exercise EVERY DAY and when I go to the beach I’m going to look like a super model.” Then why I was buying rice snacks and 100 calorie bite packs and loads of shrimp I started thinking about all the money I’m going to have to spend on new clothes once I’m skinny and cute. It’s been a week. Nothing is nearly as exciting as it used to be. I drag myself onto the treadmill and fast walk for half and hour then run for 5 minutes then walk for 15 minutes then run for 5 and I hate it it’s so boring and nothing good is ever one TV while I’m doing it.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. For a week. Aside from that I got a Playstation Vita. It’s pretty cool. The battery life is very satisfying. I find it runs out about half as slowly as my 3Ds. The graphics are phenomenal as well. It also has a bunch of neat apps like Facebook and Twitter for free, both being probably the cleanest and best working apps I have seen for any device. I actually update my Twitter now!! I just wish I had some more Vita friends to play with.

Sorry for the boring post, just wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to recently! I hope I can start updating again in the near future!