HEY GUYS! sorry I’ve been gone for about….two and a half months.
So I’ve been really busy with her lately. I’ve also been keeping a blog about it, so I wasn’t gone I was just in some parallel blogging universe of puppies.
It was pretty great.
I still don’t know how frequently I will be able to update because I’m still in the process of training my new dog. She is so great though. If you don’t have a dog you might be, by definition, the saddest person on earth.
Or a cat or a hamster or a bird. If you don’t have an animal. Because animals are pretty fucking great.
So as you may or may not know I live in the middle of fucking nowhere. That means when I say “I’m going to the beach this summer” IT’S REALLY FUCKING EXCITING! Usually I’m stuck here day in and day out with nothing to do because this town is small and I don’t drive because I’m afraid of driving because some one is probably going to hit me and oh god that guy doesn’t kook like he’s going to stop HE’S NOT GOING TO STOPHE’SNOTGOINGTOSTOP oh thank god he stopped.
People are just really scary in cars. Cars weigh like 2000 pounds. That’s crazy. That’s like being hit by a Rhino. Not only are cars HUGE and REALLY FUCKING HEAVY people are also huge jerks most of the time. They have places to be and obviously their places are SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS. They willing to rip your arm off and smack you over the face with it in order to get to their places first. I’ve been cut off by some guy changing lanes and forced to drive off the road to not get into a wreck three times. That’s three times too many. Not to mention around here 90% of the cars are trucks or SUV’s and I have a little baby hybrid so everyone is trying to kill me at all times.
So I don’t get out much, and that’s why going to the beach is exciting. That’s also why I’m trying to diet AGAIN. But this time I ran out and bought all sorts of healthy food, SO I CAN’T POSSIBLY FAIL.
I learned something about dieting. It’s really fun and exciting the first few days, but then it just sucks. Ihop is suddenly playing commercials because it took them 10 years but finally just two months ago you got one built 10 minutes down the road from you.
Then you have class at 8:00 in the morning until 1:30 in the after noon and Mcdonalds looks so delicious and inviting and their Mcdoubles are only $1!
But all you’re allowed to eat is fish and rice snacks. And juice. And McDonald doesn’t serve any of those things that aren’t fried in the fattest grease in the world.
Then you have to exercise too. Then you look at the amount of calories you burn exercising and you get really really depressed. Did you know running for half an hour only burns about 300 calories? And that’s if you’re running fast, and not doing that pussy fast walking-jog thing. That’s half a meal. You run for half an hour to run off half a meal. For reference it takes burning 3500 calories to lose a pound.
The diet was really exciting when I started. I went to the store all naive, thinking “This is going to be it. I’m going to buy low calorie, healthy snacks. I’m going to cook ALL MY OWN MEALS and they will all be Asian dishes and fish and rice. I’m going to exercise EVERY DAY and when I go to the beach I’m going to look like a super model.” Then why I was buying rice snacks and 100 calorie bite packs and loads of shrimp I started thinking about all the money I’m going to have to spend on new clothes once I’m skinny and cute. It’s been a week. Nothing is nearly as exciting as it used to be. I drag myself onto the treadmill and fast walk for half and hour then run for 5 minutes then walk for 15 minutes then run for 5 and I hate it it’s so boring and nothing good is ever one TV while I’m doing it.
So that’s what I’ve been doing. For a week. Aside from that I got a Playstation Vita. It’s pretty cool. The battery life is very satisfying. I find it runs out about half as slowly as my 3Ds. The graphics are phenomenal as well. It also has a bunch of neat apps like Facebook and Twitter for free, both being probably the cleanest and best working apps I have seen for any device. I actually update my Twitter now!! I just wish I had some more Vita friends to play with.
Sorry for the boring post, just wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to recently! I hope I can start updating again in the near future!